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4 Reasons To Masturbate

by Steve Gordon
5 Scary Reasons Why You Should Never Have An Affair

[dropcap]A[/dropcap]s if you needed an actual reason to masturbate (and especially not four), there is a chance that – like us – you’ve become a little bit introspective recently. Perhaps you’ve been reading a lot of existential philosophy lately and have become a little bit existential yourself.

So you might be asking questions such as “What’s the meaning of life?” and “Why do I jack off?”

Your answer displeases you. It’s always the same old answer, the same one you had when you were twelve and the same one you’ll have when you’re sixty-five. Because it feels damn good.

But now you want a better answer. That one just doesn’t cut it anymore. You want a new reason to masturbate. After all, masturbation can lose its fun, just like Green Day sang. Sometimes we do need extra motivation to whip our cock out and give it a few tugs.

Masturbation Tells Cancer To Back Off

Disease-causing toxins tend to conglomerate around our urogenital tract, and unless we ejaculate and spit ‘em out, they’re gonna cause some serious damage. If you ejaculate around five times a week, you’ll have a much less chance of developing prostrate cancer. We’ll jack off to that.

Masturbation Makes You Harder

When we get older, we naturally lose muscle tone, especially down there. As disheartening as it is, it happens. The famous American comedy actor, Grouch Marx, opined when he was in old age that he’d give anything for an erection.

To prevent your cock ending up like Groucho’s, you should masturbate regularly because it helps to keep your muscle tone strong and lively. You might be bored of masturbating right now, but you’ll miss it when you’re old. Put the effort in now to reap the rewards later on in life.

Masturbation Helps You Last Longer

There’s nothing like a good fuck only for you to go and spoil it by coming too soon. If you masturbate an hour before you go out on a date, you’ll have more control of the situation. The more you masturbate, the more you’ll be able to recognise how long it takes you to orgasm.

Masturbation Improves Your Mood

Dopamine is known as the happy hormone because it puts us on cloud nine. But it’s a big old meanie and only comes out to play now and then.

One way to release huge quantities of dopamine is to have a good tug. This means that masturbating lifts your spirits and makes you feel good. Awesome.

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