At some point in your life, insecurity sets in. You feel you’re not good enough or don’t fare well in certain situations, especially in relationships and bedroom performance. Your desire to appear manly couldn’t be questioned since society has shaped men to be an alpha male: confident, strong, and sure of themselves. This means any insecurities or vulnerabilities are unacceptable.
Once you show some subtle signs of these qualities, you’d be deemed weak. We might blame society for men’s inability to express themselves as real people inside out, but blaming couldn’t help. Instead, let’s put our focus on the issues that grip men in silence.
Not because no one’s telling these things out in the open means they’re not real. In fact, the issues below are from online forums where men and women share their thoughts surrounding men’s insecurities.
Insecure Men According to Women
Interestingly, women viewed men’s insecurities not based on their bedroom performance but on how they interact with the outside world. Here’s what women can say:
Women noticed that men who are insecure about the younger generation of men try to appear superior to them. They state their opinions in a way that puts the younger males a little bit below them. They do it by not showing any interest in the latest craze. They tell women they don’t know who Drake is to show anything new is of less importance.
2. Lack of knowledge about “girly” things
Women complain that some men pretend not to know anything about feminine stuff just to show how masculine they are. What they don’t know is that they freak women out when they show ignorance about ordinary lipstick. These men don’t know that it makes them appear more masculine when they’re able to appreciate a partner’s make up or know how to help her fix her hair. These things don’t make them less masculine. Acknowledging female stuff is showing masculinity in itself.
Some men go to extremes. One woman shared how she was turned off by a man who went crazy after accidentally using a female shampoo. Another woman said she got pissed off with a man who scolded her for giving his son a pink cap, which was the kid’s choice in the first place. Being a sexist does not make any man a straight guy. It only shows how insecure they are.
4. Alpha male dominance
Women dislike men who try to appear alpha by showing their dominance. They always want to be in authority and want to appear bigger than they actually are. Real “alpha” males know how to show respect when the situation calls for. They know when to let other people have their own way. Trying to be alpha is just another form of insecurity that baffles men.
Insecure Men According to Men
On the other side of the coin, men express their insecurity not on how they react with the external world but rather on how they deal with their own capacities and abilities. Some men who have insecurity issues revealed the following:
5. Failing to get hard
This is a sex issue that truly haunts men. They’re afraid they can’t get hard in bed for fear of rejection.
One man admitted he thinks his dick is below average. He’s afraid he wouldn’t be able to satisfy his partner with it.
7. Lack of bedroom knowledge
Having less sexual experience can also be a source of insecurity for men. When his partner gives him constructive criticism, he thinks he’s doing it wrong all along. Some men are also afraid that their lack of knowledge about sex can cost them rejection from their partners.
8. Coming too soon
Men have this desire to please their partner in bed. Delaying ejaculation is one way of doing it. Cumming too soon is a turn off in the real sense. If men can’t hold a while longer and come too fast, naturally, it would be a cause for disappointment and insecurity about themselves.
9. Not good enough in bed
Unfortunately, some men can’t help but compare themselves with others. They think other guys are better than themselves in terms of bedroom performance. The more they dwell on the lack of confidence in themselves, the more they wouldn’t improve in their sexual activities.
10. Weird looking penis
Not all penises are created the same. One man is afraid because he thinks his penis has a weird appearance, which is the main cause of his insecurity.
11. Not pulling out during sex
Sex without a condom is truly worrisome. One man admitted not his insecurities but his fears of not being able to pull out during unprotected sex. He’s afraid he’d become a dad too soon, which he’s not prepared for. Using a condom can eliminate this worry right away.
12. Stinky dick
A stinky dick is a big turn off. Bringing your partner into the bedroom with the full knowledge that you’ve sweated all throughout the day can only make you feel less confident. If she can wait, take a quick shower.
13. Body image
Body image can be a source of insecurity both for males and females. If you’re afraid she secretly wished you’re the hot guy she saw down the street, don’t worry, women also feel the same.
14. Big dick
While some men feel a bigger dick is ideal, one man also shared how his big dick disappoints him. He’s afraid it would be too big when aroused and could hurt his partner instead of giving her joy.
15. Excess weight
Men in longer and stable relationships have also their own fair share of insecurities. One husband admitted he’s afraid his wife may lose interest in him because he’d gained weight. This is still a body image issue where a man thinks his physique is the main attraction for women.
16. Lesser performance in bed
Another husband confessed his insecurity rose the moment his sexual performance was no longer as ideal as before. He’s afraid he could no longer please his wife.
All the above insecurities are real. They’re not to be ashamed of. Rather they need to be faced head-on for the peace of your mind. If your insecurity revolves around your body image, you can boost your confidence by improving your looks. Get physical. Exercise. Moving your body alone can boost your mood and enhance your confidence. The more you do this, the more you feel good about yourself. Once you feel good, it radiates and people can feel it.
If your insecurity lies in whether you’re good at something or not, know that you have the capacity to improve yourself. Read books. Ask the experts. Seek more knowledge about sex and performance. The good thing is, nowadays, a lot of materials are available online. You only need to do some simple tweaks to gain confidence and get yourself out of the insecurity club.