In this modern age, people are more open to different kinds of sex. There’s sex after marriage, premarital sex, casual sex, friends with benefits (friends having sex), threesome sex, and many others. You name it, people are more open to experimenting with it.
The decision to try sex and the different methods used vary from person to person. An individual’s attitude toward sex depends largely on their values, interests, and attractions. While it’s easier for others to say yes to sex, it would be difficult for others because of the unlikely consequences that go with it.
Some people are grateful for their decision to have sex with someone, others have huge regrets, which they could carry through their entire lifetime. They feel embarrassed and stupid for deciding to do so. If you don’t want to carry shame and regrets after sex, know when is the right time to say no to sex. The following situations can shed you some light.
1. Your moral convictions don’t support it
People who are raised in a family with strong religious or spiritual convictions find it hard to have sex outside of marriage. Premarital sex isn’t supported because it goes against their beliefs and value system. Doing so can only make them feel guilty and undervalue their self-esteem.
If this is you, it’s okay to say no to sex. Just because others are doing it you can do it as simply as they do too. Don’t do something that goes against your will. Never mind how people look at you. The point is, to have sex when your body, mind, and soul are prepared to do it so that there would be no self-loathing in the end.
2. You’re too young
There’s one thing that often leads young people to unwanted consequences, their desire for adventure. If you think sex is another awesome adventure you couldn’t wait to try, think again. Sex is not like getting bruises when you stumble while running. The bruises will eventually heal without making you feel regretful for having one.
But with sex it’s different. Your life wouldn’t be the same again if you use sex wrongly, that is, getting a woman pregnant for the sake of this appealing adventure. Becoming a parent at a young age can change the direction of your life in an instant. It’s better to say no when you’re not yet aware of the safe practices involve in sex.
3. You or the other person is married
Whether it be a one-night stand or an extramarital affair, having sex with a married person is simply not right. Regardless of the pleasure you get, you’re still putting yourself in a dangerous situation. You could end up in jail for adultery. Your life would be a mess as well as the family of the other. Plus, the guilt will follow you even long after the affair has ended.
4. You’re not sure about your feelings
Men normally get physically attracted to women who show off their sexy bodies. But it’s not enough reason for you to have sex with them. Sex that is based on physical attraction feeds only the animalistic instinct of men. Great and pleasurable sex is a combination of intimacy and attraction. When the other one is missing, stop and ask yourself if you really want to have sex with that person.
5. You’re under the influence of a substance
This one is difficult to manage. Substance use can affect your good judgment. Most often, you end up doing the wrong things and sabotaging yourself when under the influence of prohibited drugs. As much as possible, try to avoid drugs that can only do your body harm to prevent yourself from getting into trouble, like having sex in a prohibited place or having it with the wrong person.
6. You strongly believe in something
This one isn’t the same with situation number one where your decision is influenced by something outside of you, like your religious or spiritual affiliation. Rather, this has more to do with what you believe to be right for yourself. If you’re in a serious romantic relationship and you commit into it trying to be monogamous, having sex with someone else can backfire against you. It might be the cause for trouble the moment your partner will find it out. Staying true to your commitment means saying NO in the midst of temptation.
7. You don’t need to please the other person
Pleasing people can be easier than standing for yourself and turning them down. Even if there’s no physical attraction involve, you say yes to sex because you don’t want the other person to feel ashamed of being let down. But saying no when you mean it can help both you and the other person. You may appear rude or ungentlemanly, but saying no is the best manly favor you can give to the other person.
8. You don’t have protection
Safe sex practice should always be your priority when it comes to your active sexual life. Getting your partner pregnant when both of you aren’t prepared for it can cause frustration, disappointment, and regrets. Safe sex can also protect you against sexually transmitted diseases. Aside from the agony, you get for getting such a disease, the embarrassment that goes along with it can affect your confidence and self-esteem.
9. You will feel bad about it
No matter how ecstatic you are in the bedroom, if it can make you feel bad about yourself, you better not have done it. This happens when your partner is not sure of what she’s doing. Out of vulnerability, she might have said yes only to blame you for what you had done to her. She blames you because she’s not prepared for it or because it doesn’t make her feel good after. Stop having sex when your partner isn’t sure about herself to avoid the feelings of guilt and shame.
10. You can’t take responsibility for your actions
If that casual sex results in pregnancy, you might find yourself being involved in a blame game. She may blame you for it or you may blame her for turning you on, which results in casual sex and unwanted pregnancy. In some cases, you might also find yourself being used as a tool for revenge. Some women use their bodies to avenge themselves from a cheating partner. Finding yourself as a means for the fulfillment of that rage may deplete you of self-respect.
Sex might be a free commodity these days but you don’t have to take it the moment it is placed on your plate. You have to weigh things whether it is aligned with your values and beliefs whatever they may be.
They say men won’t lose anything when they engage in different sexual affairs. But you’re still a human being who has emotions and right judgment. And you’re wise enough to know that having sex with the right person at the right time is the greatest sexual experience there can be. Free things don’t always come with a higher value. That’s’ why they’re free.