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So You Just Picked Up a Prostitute: Now What?

So You Just Picked Up a Prostitute: Now What? 

I ‘m not one to judge, so I’m not going to. I personally wouldn’t pay for sex because it’s easy to get it for free, but there are some dudes who just don’t want to go through the hassle of going to a bar, meeting a girl, and then persuading her to bang him the whole night.

Some guys would rather just jump to the end of that conversation and get with the sex, and lord knows I agree with that.

But if you’re not a seasoned pro who is used to picking up strange women on the side of the road, you need to keep your head in the game so you don’t catch anything, get robbed, or have a horrible time, which could all be summed up with the previous points.

You Have Her In Your Car, Now What Do You Do?

Well, there will be an exchange on money for sure, and then you’re going to talk about what’s about to happen. You may even drive to another place that has a room.

Whatever you choose, make sure you have a condom. Imagine catching the clap or HIV from one of these broads? No thanks, man. No thanks!

Using a condom significantly reduces the chance of getting something you don’t want.

Thinking about just getting a blowjob, then? Guess again, guy! You can still catch things from her mouth, and then you’ll have it all in your penis. And who knows what will happen.

But if you pick your girls right and look for the ones that look like they just started out, you should be fine.

But if you pick up a 57-year-old career prostitute, you may have to wear a HAZMAT suit to go anywhere near her.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

After the Deed is Done, Get Her Out of There FAST!

What you just did was highly illegal, and I’m sure the cops would love to bust your ass and hers. You need to cut the small talk and push her out the door. Maybe not literally, but you could abruptly ask her to leave, or perhaps use any one of these lines:

“well, that was fun. I really have to go get a haircut. Mind if we part ways?”

Or this one, which is my favorite:

“I’d really like to stay and chat, but you’re a prostitute.”

That should get the ball rolling.


With this in mind, you’ll have a fun and safe adventure!